<h1 style="text-align: center;">I Just Called To Tell You That I Found Someone New</h1>
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<p>I wasn’t cc’d or even sent a text message; at least my ex had the courtesy to call and tell me she was going to have a baby. The only thing more shocking than the news itself was the call itself. We made a deal early in our breakup to cut off contact with one another and with the exception of a couple of missteps by yours truly, we both did a great job of holding up our ends of the bargain. So when I received a voicemail from her telling me to call her back, I was taken aback. When I finally did get back in touch with her and she shared the news with me, I was taken down.</p>
<h2>Why Do Exes Feel The Need To Share?</h2>
<p>For my long time readers, you know how the rest of the story goes, so I’ll refrain from divulging more details because today’s post isn’t about that specific phone call. Today’s post is about the phone call, the email, the text, or the instant message we receive from a past lover that they are moving on in some form or fashion with someone else. Why do they bother, and more importantly, why do we care? Check out this perspective on <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2018/10/03/more-breakups-gone-bad/">why exes reach out after breakups</a>.</p>
<p>I suppose I should preface this by saying I don’t know the exact answer to this question. I can’t speak for everyone who has ever done such a thing, but then again, I think most people who read this blog know I have no more answers to life’s questions than the next person does. All I know is what it’s like to be told by someone you once thought you were going to marry that they’re going to get married to someone else, or someone you thought you were going to have a family with is going to have a family with someone else.</p>
<h2>Reasons They Call Us</h2>
<p>Well, they all gave me their reasons, and I could get into the specifics of those reasons, but why bother? It’s really never a good enough reason when we initially hear the news. It’s not like I ever woke up a day in my life hoping to hear from an ex who is saying she found the love of her life and her name is not mine. Besides, we’re moving on just the same, right? They don’t get a phone call from us saying, “Hey, guess what? I found someone new. Who is it? Oh, it’s me. Me. By myself. Yep, I’ve found myself and I’m loving myself more every day.”</p>
<p>I don’t make a phone call like that because I do believe it would be wrong. So what makes it right when they call me to basically say the same thing except instead of bragging about how they found themselves, they’re boasting about finding someone else? This post about <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/09/07/break-up-and-move-on/">handling news about an ex moving on</a> dives deeper into this question.</p>
<h2>Why We Care About Their News</h2>
<p>The second question, which I believe is the better question we have to ask ourselves is this: If we have moved on as much as we say we have, then why do we care so much when the person from our past calls to tell us they moved on?</p>
<p>I would be lying if I said ex-girlfriends who called to tell me they were engaged to be married or having a family with someone else sounded like music to my ears. Like I said up top, those aren’t the phone calls I’m ever waiting for. But if I can guess one reason why I cared when they called, it’s probably the same reason they cared enough to call me. I, like her, thought that it was going to be me they were talking about on the other end of the phone, not someone else. For more thoughts on <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/06/15/7-lessons-we-can-learn-from-celebrity-divorces/">dealing with news from exes</a>, check out this article.</p>
<p>It turned out differently, way more differently than I thought it would, but if it’s one thing I’m relieved to know, it’s that no matter how differently it turned out to be, it all turned out to be okay.</p>